March 30, 2006
Announcing the Beautiful Baby Boy
Hi, this is meloknee, on behalf of Bugg. I'm here to announce the birth of TBD (since bugg has yet to nickname the little guy, he will be known as To Be Determined in the meantime).
TBD was 8 lbs. 2.5 oz. and 21 inches. He is healthy and adorable.
Posted by meloknee at 08:58 AM | Comments (6)
July 08, 2005
Finding Dick
I become obsessed on occasion with finding my birth father.
Maybe it is because my adopted dad passed away in September and I miss him. Or because he had Alzheimer's and couldn't remember who I was at the end.
Whatever the reason, I have to find this stranger who is technically my father.
I don't think there will be peace inside my head until then.
I found my birth mother in 1992 and since then we have had sporadic but friendly communication. She only spoke of Richard once years ago and has since ignored any pleas for more information. I can't say as I blame her. The memories must be very painful.
I figured it would be easier to find him than it actually has been. He was in the Army during Viet Nam so I assumed the paper trail would be easy to track but that has not been the case.
I have scoured the internet in search of Richard on and off for the last ten years. I could probably pay someone but I'm not ready to admit defeat like that yet.
And I am afraid.
Afraid that he will be angry with me for disturbing his life and that he will be disappointed with who I am.
I am also afraid that I will hate him and that he will disappoint me or it scares me because I will love him.
I am afraid he will turn his back on me. Again.
I don't want Richard to be a Dick.
Posted by bugg at 02:49 PM | Comments (0)
July 01, 2005
Scott and Kevin Suck
Before I was married I had a rule. Never, ever date anyone named Scott or Kevin (again).
In high school I dated Scott K. the summer I turned sixteen and he ruined me. He seemed like a catch; honor student, football player, very cute and popular. I had only moved to MI my sophomore year so I thought this was my lucky day to be in with the popular crowd. But he only dated me that summer and we stayed out of the public eye. At the time I thought it was romantic but it was really because he didn't want anyone to know he was dating me. I was not popular enough apparently. He stopped calling me the week before school started and then he never acknowledged my existence again. His mind fucking killed my self-esteem and almost drove me to kill myself. He hardened me, took away my innocence (not in a sexual way) and my trust in others.
I blame him and thank him for the way I am now. He broke my heart. At the time I thought my heart was broken because I was in love with him but really it hurt so much because he made me hate myself. He is now married and living in Utah. Good riddance and my condolences to his wife.
I went from nice and shiny new, an Adam Ant song - don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?, and the new girl in school to a jaded, more wild, all black wearing, teen angst poetry writing, party girl. It made me very popular my junior and senior year, most likely for all the wrong reasons. I wasn't really bad but I tried hard to be someone other than the nice girl whose heart got clobbered.
The second loser was Kevin B. I dated him my senior year in high school. He was a wasteoid. He was two years older than I. He lived at home with his parents, didn't go to school and he worked for the cemetery digging graves and doing maintenance. I think he liked that job because no one cared if he was high. Yes, I actually thought he was great.
I will say nothing more to incriminate myself, ahem....
Anyway, New year's Eve 1989, I walked in on him having sex with Julie G.(a sophmore). Needless to say I stopped seeing him.
Thank God I never slept with either of them.
My parents used the highly effective Catholic method of having me so afraid of having to tell them I was pregnant that I was scared into virginity until I was ummm, older. Not to make you think I was a total prude, I will say that at that time it was “ok” for high school girls of a certain age to engage in other activities that were "safer". HAHA!
Oh, I forgot about the second Kevin. Senior year in college I decided to give the Kevin’s a second chance. It was a bad idea. This one tried to get in the pants of one of my friends……… Jason. Enough said.
Anyway, I digress and move on to the Brian's. Brian's are good.
I have a close friend Brian, who I have known since high school and we have stayed friends, especially because he has a very cool wife. We don't see each other often because we live across the country from each other but he'll always be my friend. Poor guy was so great he even put up with my friend Kathleen and me calling him Cinderfella for the longest time.
The second Brian was a sophomore when I was a junior. He was my first boyfriend after the whole "Scott incident". He was very smart (a lawyer now), athletic, kind, his parents were a teacher and counselor at our high school. They hated me because they heard rumors of my wild ways. Anyway, he was wonderful and sweet but my self esteem was in the crapper so I broke up with him. I hurt him. We tried to hook up once or twice a few years later but it never worked. He is the one who told me I didn't belong in Michigan and that I needed to get away and find the right place for me. At the time it hurt to hear him say that but now I know he was right and I doubt he even knows. I haven't talked to him in thirteen years. He will always be the one that got away.
The last, best Brian, my Mr. turned out to be Mr. Right.
Posted by bugg at 01:40 PM | Comments (0)
June 30, 2005
I'm going crazy
If for some reason I were ever held hostage and tortured for my vast knowledge of useless trivia, I would spill my guts in mere moments as soon as anyone started tapping their fingers, humming, cracking their gum, scratching their nails down a chalkboard or any of those other noises that I hone in on and cannot ignore, especially in a closed in quiet space like an airplane, restaurant or my cube farm right freakin now.
I am about to have an apoplectic fit.
Earlier the air conditioner maintenance guy was here and performed what seemed to be routine maintenance, changing the filter and the like. The moment he left the friggin thing started in with this high pitched whistle that hiccups every thirty seconds or so.
It is all I can hear.
My ears are going to start bleeding because I am about to poke myself in my ear canals with an exacto knife to make the noise stop!
Please, make it stop! I'll tell you anything you want to know!
Michael Shoeffling, my true love Jake from sixteen candles, lives near Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania and makes furniture now, he has a wife and two kids.... what else do you want to know?
Posted by bugg at 03:37 PM | Comments (1)
June 28, 2005
Go ahead, steal my sand
I am vindictive by nature. As far back as I can remember, forgive and forget has been a hard pill for me to swallow. Seek and destroy has always worked better.
Case in point:
When I was a very young child of 3 or 4 we lived in a beautiful neighborhood on the fairway of a country club golf course outside of Louisville Kentucky. I was supposed to be a sweet flower of the South. But, it was not meant to be.
We had a neighbor with two children, a daughter my age and a son my older brother's age. The daughter and I used to play in the sprinklers, catch fireflies in jars, and have a good ole time.
One day while looking out the bay window in our kitchen, my mother spotted the little girl, Allison, in our sand box. She was using a one cup measuring cup to scoop up some sand. Then, she would disappear back over to her own yard. This same event occurred several times a day for many weeks. Yes, slowly Allison was stealing the sand out of my sand box! The nerve!
My own mother wouldn't say anything! Or do anything! She said "It's just sand." The injustice! It was MY sand. And this little skank was stealing MY sand. It was up to me to remedy the situation and exact revenge. Oh, I kept playing nice with her as I bided my time.
Eventually, we were invited to swim in their backyard pool. And I took the opportunity to wreak havoc. Oh yes. Allison's mother provided a lovely spread of sandwiches, chips and lovely pitchers of cherry red Kool-Aid.
Pitchers full of cherry Kool-Aid make a spectacular splash of color when added to the crisp aqua blue of a backyard swimming pool.
Needless to say, we were never invited back and my mother was mortified and embarrassed by my behavior. I never did get my sand back but I got my sweet, sweet revenge.
Posted by bugg at 12:10 PM | Comments (1)
June 27, 2005
Bunny can sleep through anything
I am a light sleeper. I wake up at least 6 times a night because the cat sneezed, a car horn honked, light came in the window, the kid snored down the hall or the minute hand turned on the clock.
You get my drift I wake at the drop of a hat.
My friend Bunny can sleep anywhere, anytime, through anything. She told me once that she fell asleep at a Marilyn Manson concert.
The summer before I moved to Seattle with Bunny, we had gone out to a bar in Kzoo and we had to drive back to GR that same night. I decided to drive as I was not drunk and I was wide awake. Bunny handed me the keys to her grandpa's car. Some sort of 1980's Buickish 4 door with the interior celing felt falling down and absolutely NO suspension. It was like driving one of those hoopty cars that bounce on purpose.
Anyway, Things were bouncing along the highway nicely so Bunny promptly fell asleep and I was left to drive and listen to bad radio.
As we entered the subdivision where my parents lived, I was thinking we were home safe. I turned the last corner before their driveway and a possum ran out into the road directly in front of me. I gripped the wheel with both hands and stomped on the brake. Next to me bunny flew forward and slammed her head on the dashboard then bounced back into her seat, limp. Driving the last few yards home, I was thinking that surely I had killed her. At the same time, I was almost peeing myself with supressed laughter because of the hysterical spectacle of Bunny zinging through the air the way she had.
I pulled into my parents driveway and stopped the car. I turned in the seat and called her name. "Bunny? Bunny, are you ok?" Then I shook her and yelled her name, which made her barely open an eye and grumble as she came slowly awake. She had slept through it all!
I wasn't going to tell her what had happened but I had to, in order to tell the story over and over to all our friends.
Posted by bugg at 12:30 PM | Comments (1)
June 24, 2005
pet peeve
I think that my first entry on my loverly new blog (thanks meloknee), will be to bitch about single driver assholes using the carpool lane, or the HOV only highway entry ramps.
I should be allowed to ram you with my truck and push you the fuck out of my way... a girl can dream.
Instead, I have memorized the "report violators" phone number. I also keep a pen and pad of paper handy to write down license plate numbers for every piece of shit I see breaking this particluar law and who also happens to have the misfortune of getting in front of me.
Keep it up assholes, you bring me great joy on a daily basis!
Posted by bugg at 12:14 PM | Comments (0)