January 03, 2009
queenie
It's been awhile. You know how it is this time of year, from Thanksgiving through the first week of January, there is too much... everything.
I'm extra crabby because my mom is visiting. One week of familial closeness is 3 days over my limit. You can imagine what two weeks is doing to me. My brother was here for four days and that was awesome. I hadn't seen him in two years! I liked having him here.
I fell asleep on the couch earlier and then when I dragged my ass to the bedroom, Grumpy was in there playing some nasty, loud war game on XBOX live. Now, it's after one in the morning and I am wide-fucking-awake. For some reason, I got a moment stuck in my head and I thought maybe I had better get it down before I forget it ever happened.
It must have been about 12 years ago now. We still lived in Seattle. Grumpy was still in the Navy, before we were married and I had very short hair and was in pretty good shape from going out and dancing almost every night. I will have to dig out some pics. I had this dress that can only be described as material that shined like a disco ball. And I used to wear platforms that were about 6 or 7 inches. Many of my bar friends never realized I was short until I took off my shoes. I am under 5'4" in real life.
One night we were hanging out at a new to us club because we followed DJ Evan whereever he went. I think it was called the 2418. He spun the 80's we loved best and he was our friend. Anyway, we were at this club that was owned by Asians and had a clientele that was mostly Asian. They were cool, they liked the music, they liked us, no problems. The problems came in with the hoity toity, drunk, frat boy, douche bag types.
I was at the bar with my short hair, big shoes, and disco ball dress when one such douche bag asked me if I was a drag queen.
A drag queen? Are you fucking kidding me? Really?
I love my drag queens so I wasn't offeneded about being called one. I was offended that douche bag had the balls to ask me. And he obviously knew nothing about drag queens or he never would have mistaken me for one. Firstly, I wear a size 6, a far cry from the size 13 my b-i-l wears. Secondly, I have no trace of an adam's apple. Thirdly, my hair was very short. No self repecting queen would have short hair.
Well, douche bag caught me off guard and the only sassy response I could come up with was "Fuck you, asshole. If I were a drag queen, don't you think I'd have bigger tits?" Not really my best work. Then my very big and burly friend Bill came over to defend me as he had heard the whole thing and I almost started a very large fight when douche bag got all belligerent. I can't rightly recall how it all ended, except that Bill must have dragged me out of there for fear that I was going to get us kicked out of our new digs.
I was such a feisty queen back then.
Posted by bugg at January 3, 2009 01:23 AM