and then what happened?: July 2008 Archives

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July 30, 2008

he's a juice box hero, got straws in his eyes

When I get home from doing the Costco run, I usually unload everything in a heap in the living room just inside the front door and then I deal with it after dinner.

Dinner was in the oven, Little Bear and Grumpy were playing video games and I was sitting at the kitchen table filling out the passport paperwork. Hoho, I thought, was in with the guys playing video games. Turns out, he wasn't.

I walked around the corner to ask Grumpy a question and I found Hoho pulled up to the train table sitting on the big pack of toilet paper. He had opened the flat of juice boxes. He had a neat stack of straw wrappers, and had already put straws into about half of the juice boxes.

When I exclaimed "HOHO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!???", he looked up with the biggest, proudest grin on his face and the instant he saw the angry look on my face he started to cry his little eyes out. I was only angry for that briefest of moments and then when Grumpy came running to see what had happened, we looked at each other and busted out laughing. Grumpy ran to get the camera while I hugged Hoho and told him he did a very good job opening the juice boxes but that we only should open one when we are going to drink one. I then spent a half an hour "milking" the juice boxes into a pitcher.

Posted by bugg at 06:24 PM | Comments (2)

July 29, 2008

speedy delivery

FedEx is pissing me off, big time.

I work in an office, way the hell out in the desert. We have two employees and the office is only open from 8am to noon, Monday through Friday. It is a sweet gig.

But, FedEx is harshing my mellow.

The last few months, Mr. Speedy Delivery, is making his deliveries at 2 in the afternoon, the next morning I will call and tell them we are only open until noon and they will try to redeliver it again at 2pm.
I end up having to drive to the FedEx facility to pick up our packages. Lately they just leave a note saying they are holding the package for me to pick up. Last month alone, I drove to FedEx four times.

Everytime I go there I tell whoever is at the counter that we are only open until noon and I need them to come earlier. I have asked that they have the driver call me so we can arrange something, to no avail.

Basically, the FEDEX driver drives 54 miles to leave me a note, two days in a row, and I spend an hour and a half driving 54 miles with two kids and a wheelchair to go there and pick up whatever the delivery is.... and for some reason every person who works there and rides a motorcycle doesn't seem to understand that it is illegal to park in the handicap unloading area. Needless to say, I come home very grumpy, hot, and tired.

What bothers me most about all of this, isn't my wasted time, the effort involved or anything. I am mostly pissed because it is a collosal waste of natural resources. The gas alone! It is outrageous. I even called FedEx HQ tonight to complain and they basically told me I was shit out of luck as well.

I don't know what else to do... FedEx can suck it.
Anyone have any suggestions?

Posted by bugg at 10:17 PM | Comments (6)

July 27, 2008

violet, you're turning violet, violet!

Isn't she just so precious?
Feel better soon, sweet pea... and tell your mommies to hang in there!

http://www.ultravioley.blogspot.com/

Posted by bugg at 12:04 PM | Comments (33)

July 23, 2008

don and dawn are NOT pronounced the same

Everybody says I have a Wisconsin ACCENT. I don't think I have an accent. I have been vindicated1

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
Philadelphia
The Inland North
The South
The Northeast
The West
Boston
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Posted by bugg at 05:49 PM | Comments (38)

July 22, 2008

shady pines, ma!

Picture it... Sicily, another one of my favorite comedians has left this world. Estelle Getty who, as Sophia Petrillo made me snort with laughter more times than I can count, died today. She would have been 85 in three more days.

I know she suffered from Lewy Body Dementia for many years so it is probably a bit of a relief for her family. When my dad died from complications from Alzheimer's it was really a relief because the person I knew as my dad was long gone. It takes a big toll.

I prefer to remember her as the sassy, sarcastic, most Jewish, little Italian mama I ever did see. I loved it when she would slam Dorothy, Rose, and especially Blanche.

In my mother/daughter relationship with my mom I am Dorothy and she is most like Rose, but I still threaten to send her to Shady Pines anyway. I loved it when Dorothy said, "You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying."

Posted by bugg at 03:30 PM | Comments (3)

July 18, 2008

for the birds

The other morning I was on my way into work and like every morning I stopped in at the Post Office to pick up the work mail. I'm there so often, I've gotten to be friends with the postal workers. There is one guy there who is obviously the son of Hitler and my 7th grade history teacher, Mr. Srp. Yes, that was his real name.

Anyway, he used to be a real grump ass to me and was borderline rude but one day when I was sending out mail for my 2nd job, he recognized my boss' name and went all nutty. He was a tad star struck because he is a racing fan and apparently he is a really big fan of my boss. he didn't ask but I think he's hoping I'll introduce him or something. So, now when he sees me he smiles and waves and calls out to me. It's pretty funny.

But, I digress. I was actually going to tell you about how when I was leaving the post office after picking up the mail, I saw a women kind of hunched over in the dirt next to a gaint cactus. She had her back to me and I wasn't sure if she was ok so I stopped and asked her if she needed help. Well, what happened was that she had found a baby bird on the sidewalk and didn't want anyone stepping on it so she had used a piece of paper to push it off into the dirt. It was sooo tiny and it's eyes weren't even open yet and it was completely featherless. Poor thing! I looked around and found it's nest but it was far too high up for us to get him home and ants were starting to attack him. I knew it would die if I left it there. So, I used my mail to scoop it up, then I got all the ants off of it and took it to my office. I ripped the top off of a Kleenex box and put it in it's little bed. Then I put it outside on the ledge so it wouldn't get too cold while I called for help.

I ended up getting in touch with the wonderful woman who took in the dove with a broken wing that I found when we first moved here. She agreed to take the baby and I happily drove it over to her house. She has an incubator and assured me the baby Sparrow would be just fine.

That is three birds rescued in the last two years, five total. Four doves and one sparrow. I wonder what it means. This is exactly what my baby looked like.

Posted by bugg at 09:24 PM | Comments (44)

July 13, 2008

i'm a big kid now

This morning I took the side rail off of Hoho's crib and turned it into a daybed. Now he is free to come and go as he pleases. God, help us all.

We never had to do that for Little Bear. I hope it isn't a total pain. I like knowing they are safe in their little crib prison.

Pictures to follow...

Posted by bugg at 11:57 AM | Comments (4)

July 11, 2008

did they just say what i think they said?

In the last couple of days I have seen two commercials that sound completely rauchy but aren't meant to be and I can't help but think that the ad agency dolts did it on purpose and are laughing themselves silly.

I wish I could find these commercials somewhere but I just couldn't hunt them down. The first commercial is for Degree deodorant but it looks like a cheezy infomercial for a product called "Snatch It".

Basically, the fake product is a glove with a magnet which enables you to pick up items from across the room so you never have to get up again. It is a stupid commercial to be sure. There is a point when the infomerical host puts on the glove and demonstrates how he uses the glove to "snatch" his keys off of a table across the room and his perky sidekick gleefully enthuses about his prowess at working the product successfully.

Her line made me turn my head and say, "WHA? Did she really just say that?" Then I thought, maybe it is just me. I mean, I know my mind is full of gutter trash and dirty words but doesn't everyone snigger when they hear something that sounds dirty but isn't really?

Anyway, after the demonstration the sideksick says, "Nice snatch, Bob!" Tell me that isn't funny. I laughed and snorted. Even Grumpy thought it was funny.

Then tonight as I was playing matchbox cars on the floor with the boys I half heard and partially saw a commercial on the tv for some sort of fancy Almonds. Anyway, the line that caught my attention and made me take notice was the following: "We select only the best Almonds and what results is an extraordinary nut sack."

and then what happened?