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March 28, 2008
bees knees
Yesterday, I had to go downtown Phoenix to return this stupid othotic device that never fit Little Bear quite right. As I'm cruising down the busy 60 I had an itch on my shin just below the knee. I leaned over to give it a scratch and felt a little lump under the fabric of my pants. At first, I thought it was lint or something but then I felt it kind of move so I felt it again and realized it was a bug. This was the same moment I realized that it was a bee and it stung me. I pulled up my pant leg and flicked it to the floor and squashed it. All while swearing up a storm and, I'm sure, swerving all over my lane. I have seen Bee Movie about 600 times in the last couple of weeks because Little Bear loves it, so I felt kind of bad for a second. Then I remembered how much I hate Jerry Seinfeld and I squished it again.
Posted by bugg at 08:54 AM | Comments (0)
March 19, 2008
not monty python
Okay, so the bees up and flew away about 15 minutes before "Kevin, the beekeeper" showed up. He said "Yup, they're gone. That'll be $80. for the housecall."
Little Bear got to hold an 80 pound python that came to visit his preschool class. There were also scorpions(gah!), black widoes(gah!), and a bunch of other creepy critters that mama no like! Thank God I didn't volunteer to help out that day. I would have been crying in a corner. It was even in the newspaper today. How special.
Posted by bugg at 07:49 PM | Comments (1)
March 10, 2008
busy bees
As I write this I am sitting about 5 feet from a swarming, buzzing, nasty mass of African Killer Bees. No joke. They are right outside my window.
They weren't there yesterday about 6pm. I let the dogs out to potty and then we walked over to my in-laws for dinner. When we got home about 10pm, I let the dogs out and then put HOHO to bed. I let the dogs in and then did my usual OCD glance around the back yard to just make sure all the dogs were in and that none of the cats got out.
Right in front of me about 3 feet and just to the left of the door I could see a weird shadow. I turned on the porch light and it took me a minute to figure out what the hell I was looking at. It looked like a brownish, black bowl hanging upside down from the porch ceiling. Grumpy came to see what I was howling about and he's like "SHIT! IT'S KILLER BEES!"
I flipped out.
Grumpy was all checking it out and taking pictures. During the night it got pretty cold and now there are about 200 dead bees scattered across my back patio. But, there are still at least 500 hanging in their buzz bowl. It's nasty. They are dancing, and moving and flying all over.
The worst part is that I can't let the dogs out in the back yard. So now, every couple of hours I have to walk five dogs. That is super fun, especially when I have to take HOHO with me too.
Talk about getting dirty looks from your neighbors. So "Bee Keeper Kevin",is coming to smoke their asses at four. I can't wait.
Posted by bugg at 04:36 PM | Comments (1)