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February 28, 2008
i'm in trouble now
I've been trying to finish this long entry about the delusional, freak office clerk that we just fired/ then she quit. I hope to finish soon because it is INSANE! I have to see her tomorrow, so it should give me the last chapter to the freak show.
Crazy bitch!
A new situation is happening on the homefront. Only a year ago, Little Bear, because of his CP, had really only been able to say one to two words and short phrases and he could say only about 12 words or so, of one and two syllables that you could understand. Oh, the times they are a changing.
The other day, Little Bear, said (and it was pretty darn clear and easy to understand) Momma, I need your help. I need you to pick up the controller (so he could play X Box). He also reads street signs and maps and is speaking pretty long sentences. I can have conversations with him for the first time. I love it. Yesterday, he was at my work and he took my EASY button and said EASY, E-A-S-Y. Wow, didn't know he could do that.
RIGHTEOUS!
It is so cool! He's really talking and I can understand him and he's going to be placed in an integrated kindergarten next year because they think he is way too smart to stay in the special needs class.
COOL!
But, now I am in trouble. Why, you may ask? Well, because of my bad, bad sailor mouth.
Yesterday, I was on the phone with my mom and she was telling me that her friend had done something nice for her and I have this standing joke with her that when someone does something nice, I usually say (in a high pitched, incensed, snooty voice) Well! That BITCH! I don't know how it started, or why I say it, but it makes us laugh like dorks. Anyway, she said what she said and I said Well! That Bitch! And, Little Bear, who was across the room playing on Googlemaps with my laptop stops and says Momma! Don't say that! That's Bad!
SHIT!
He said it again later that night when we were playing a game and I let an F-bomb slide.
OOPS!
I've never had to censor myself in front of him before because he couldn't repeat any of it. Not anymore apparently.
SHIT!
And speaking of bad things, I leave you with not one but two of the funniest things I have ever seen and heard in my whole life. I have always considered my sense of humor rather sophmoric and dirty. Sarah Silverman makes me feel like a prudish nun.
Certainly NSFW!
Go home, turn up the volume and laugh your ass off.
I'd F*** Matt Damon.
Posted by bugg at 07:28 PM | Comments (57)
February 10, 2008
he vas my boyfriend!
I have had such an amazingly cool weekend.
Friday night, I went with Cakes to see Cloris Leachman perform her new one woman show. We saw it at a beautiful new theater in Tempe. She is doing a test run before she goes on tour. So basically we got to be her guniea pigs.
It was a very intimate setting and a smallish crowd. She spoke directly to the audience and allowed us to respond to her. It was fantastic. She told stories from her truly amazing life and career, her family, the people she has gotten to work with, the movies and tv roles she has played. She sang songs, played the piano, and showed a handful of skits and clips on a big screen. She made me laugh, then cry, then both again several times over.
She shared personal stories about her relationship with her mother and father and the tragic death of her son. She shared an incredible experience she had working on the stage with Katherine Hepburn. It took everything I had not to bust out with my Hepburn impression, "Norman, you old poop."
She did her famous, "He vas my boyfriend", as Frau Blücher from Young Frankenstein and a couple of lines from Nurse Charlotte Diesel in High Anxiety.
It was an amazing evening and at the end of the show she came up into the crowd and she hugged people as we filed out. I am short but I towered over her tiny little frame. I hope I am that strong, feisty, and funny at 81 years old. I was still teary eyed from the story she had told about her son dying and the final song she had sung and I told her that I loved laughing and crying all at once. She put her hands on my face and patted my cheeks then she hugged me and thanked me.
It was extraordinary. I floated home.
Then tonight my mom and I got all fancied up and we went to ASU Gammage to see Johnny Mathis perform. He was incredible. His voice is so smooth and he is all class. My parents took us to to see him once when I was abou 9 or 10, but this time I really appreciated what a gifted performer he is. There was a very funny comedian, Brad Upton, who came out and made us laugh between sets. He was funny as hell. It was a tremendous treat.
The best part of the evening for me was that I have lost enough weight that my big knee high platform boots fit for the first time since I got pregnant with Little Bear. It was a great feeling.
I felt pretty. It didn't hurt that I was the youngest person in the audience either. It automatically made the prettiest, least wrinkled girl in the whole place.
As I rarely get to go anywhere, this whole weekend has been a major, happy, treat.
And to top it all off, I just found out that my oldest friend, Sarah, is about to have her first baby. We met in 9th grade and somehow we have kept track of each other all these years of moving and grooving. Congratulations honey!
Now I am off to bed.
.
Posted by bugg at 12:36 AM | Comments (1)