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December 01, 2005

snow boots

In honor of the snow falling in Seattle today, I have decided to share with you the story of my snow boots.

As a child in small town Wisconsin we were used to snow, and lots of it. Our house was on a dead-end street butting up to roughly 6 acres of field, the remnants of a former farm. It wasn't a cul-de-sac either. It was a dead-end. The road ended where the field started.

The snow plow would barrel down our street and crunch all the snow into a mound, basically at the foot of our driveway where the field began.

On occasion we would have a wall of snow sometimes over ten feet tall right there in front of our house. As a kid you can imagine how exciting this was, my very own Mt. Everest to climb. In actuality, I had an over protective mother and I was not allowed to go near the wall of snow, let alone climb on it.

During nice weather everyone cut through the field on a couple of well worn paths, instead of walking all the way around the block. We had a neighbor, a dentist, who had his office one block over. Instead of walking around the block in the winter, he would use his snow blower to cut a path through the field. It was a wonderful thing, but also forbidden to me as you still had to climb over the mound to get to said path.

At this point I feel I should mention that my mother, on top of being extremely overprotective, was not so much interested in things being cute as much as they are convenient, utilitarian or sturdy. Remember, this is the woman who made me wear tough skins until I was like 11. This same woman also decided that instead of buying me Moon Boots like every other kid in the free world had, she would buy me ugly, white, plastic boots that slid on over my shoes. This way I wouldn't have to carry my shoes to school and change out of my boots when I arrived. See, convenient. Of course she also made me wear a flippin' snow suit too. I looked like Randy.

Anyway, we lived within walking distance of our schools and I always enjoyed the freedom of being released from parental control even if it was fleeting. One especially brutal winter I was walking home from school with my friend and neighbor, Eric. He didn't want to walk all the way round the block in the cold and he begged me to cut through the field with him. He convinced me my mother would be none the wiser. It didn't take much convincing and we made the right turn off the main road and crunched our way down the snow blown path. When we got to the mountain of snow keeping me from my driveway Eric clambered on up the side disappearing over the top. He yelled that the coast was clear and then it was my turn. I wisely stepped into the shoe prints he had left in the snow as I followed his trail up to the top of the mound. That's where I made my first mistake by putting my foot down in uncharted territory. The minute I applied pressure to that leg there was a distinct shunking sound as the snow collapsed and I sunk in knee deep. Second mistake, I panicked. I was afraid not only because my leg was stuck but also that my mother could look out the window any moment and see my dumb ass stuck in the snow mound I wasn't allowed to go near, an ideal I told you so, your mother is always right moment for sure.

Eric decided it was safer for him to stay on the ground. And I think for a moment he almost decided to leave me there, clearly wanting to avoid my mother's wrath. Finally, as I started to cry he was jolted into action. He told me to wiggle my foot to the left then the right. Then point my toe down so I could try to gently pull my leg straight up and out of the hole. It seemed like I was in the clear, until I tugged a little too hard and my leg popped out free at last, knocking my on my butt. I was overjoyed until I realized that I was missing my boot. And my shoe.

Eric ran home. I can't say as I blame him. I slid down the side of Mt. Boot stealer and limped, head hanging into the house to tell my mother my story of woe. Not the first or last time I've had to do that for sure!

She was very mad and I have since blocked the memory of her punishment out of my head. She probably just yelled at me but I got in trouble so much I really can't recall what she did anymore.

My brother was also quite mad because he had to take a shovel out to the mound to retrieve my shoe and boot for me before it got dark.

I was never allowed to walk home with Eric again unless it was summer.
I had to wear those stupid boots until I outgrew them.
I never did get moon boots.
I hate snow.

Posted by bugg at December 1, 2005 01:55 PM

Comments

You hate snow!? LOLOL... what the hell are you doing in Seattle then? Move the family south girlfriend. It never snows down here! ;)

Posted by: ms bees knees at December 1, 2005 03:06 PM

I know, isn't she a humbug? It only snows like once a year here in Seattle and she won't get excited with me :(

Posted by: melanie at December 1, 2005 03:15 PM

Good lord! Thanks for the laugh...That was hilarious.

Posted by: epicurist at December 5, 2005 10:39 AM

ms. knees - seattle is an improvement over wisconsin and Michigan for sure. Eventually, when I can't take anymore, I will have to migrate somewhere farther south.

melanie- sorry, i tried. sort of.

epi- glad that my childhood pain gives you a chuckle. sniff. sniff.

Posted by: bugg at December 5, 2005 11:56 AM

You should be more grateful, we don't even get snow here. Closest we get to snow is tumbleweeds and dust storms.

Posted by: Armaedes at December 8, 2005 01:25 PM