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December 15, 2005
highway to hell
I have too much time on my hands apparently because I think that i have put way too much thought into this subject. When someone says oh you're going to hell for that, I always joke that I have reserved seats. But the more I have thought about it the more I am convinced that really hell will be more of a trip than a destination.
You will be forced to suppply your own mode of transportation to get there and the whole road trip will be endless and full unspeakable tortures. For me this would mean something close to the following:
In my case I would choose to drive to hell because I hate/fear flying. I won't get a cool car or anything, it will be bright white (I hate white cars) Ford Aspire or something comparable. The car will not have power anything and a donut tire forcing me to drive unbearably slow. The car will only receive am radio stations that play country music. Only the heat will work and I will be too warm and on the verge of being car sick the whole time. I will have to pee but there are no rest stops anywhere - and if you know me, I have never and will never pee in the great outdoors.
There will be only warm Mountain Dew or Doctor Pepper to drink. And finally if I smoked I would have plenty of smokes and no lighter or a lighter and no smokes.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention that i will surely hit every stinking red light along the way.
Sounds just like hell to me.
Anyone need a lift?
Posted by bugg at December 15, 2005 07:57 PM
Comments
Thanks, but I think I will take the bus...
Posted by: Chas at December 16, 2005 07:15 AM
I'd like to add that at each red light, a 108 year old lady with a walker will S L O W L Y cross the street in front of you.
Posted by: ms bees knees at December 16, 2005 10:34 PM
I would ask for a lift but there must be different levels of hell, Because yours does not sound like the one I'm going to. Maybe you can put in a good word in for me. So that my trip is as smooth as yours.
Posted by: mr mystic at December 18, 2005 06:40 AM
chas- come on now, you don't think that sounds fun??
ms. knees - you got it. sounds like you'll be riding shotgun then!
mr. mystic - welcome. wow sounds like you have been naughty!! do tell!
Posted by: bugg at December 19, 2005 07:52 AM
That sounds just like the last family vacation I went on.
Posted by: Armaedes at December 19, 2005 08:02 AM
I'm already there. Hell, France, Europe.
Posted by: carole at December 24, 2005 09:37 AM
My highway to hell would be a slow bus ride sitting sideways with my mother in law on one side spouting off obsenities such as the "N" word and my ex SIL on the other side continuing to tell me how she is superior and wonderful to me....Hell just sitting next to those two women for a half and hour would be hell in itself!
Posted by: jules at January 3, 2006 03:01 PM