and then what happened?

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August 09, 2005

houston, we have a problem

Many moons ago I was a graphic designer for a retail chain store in the Northwest and Canada. This meant I got to do fun things like go on photo shoots and press checks.

The press checks were in Phoenix and Houston and the printing presses were so large they took up entire warehouses. Usually, I was the only female (and young too) in a room full of grumpy men running the presses. You had to be kind of ballsy because they could be intimidating and they would try to boss you around so they could hurry up and get the press run done without having to make all of the color adjustments you were paying good money for.

So, sometimes I would take back up. Ed was my color guy and he was perfect to have along because he knew his stuff, he was lots of fun and he let me be the boss-lady unless I needed help.

On one particular trip to Houston the press check ran long and Ed and I had to high tail it to the airport in order to make our flight back to Seattle. We were OJ'ing through the airport at top speed when I got stuck at the security check. Ed buzzed on through and was waiting for me on the other side. I stepped through and beeped. I came back around and took off my leather jacket, placed it on the conveyor and stepped through again. BEEEEP!

The security screener, in her lovely southern drawl asked me to remove my jacket. I told her politely, I already had done so and pointed to my leather jacket which was already through and waiting for me on the other side.

She said I needed to remove my jacket - and she pointed to MY SHIRT!!! All I had on under my button up shirt was a tiny little white (read see through) tank top bra. She told me that she could see a shirt under my coat and I needed to remove my coat or I could be in big trouble.

You don't argue with those security bitches, for sure!

So, to my utter humiliation (add it to the list!) I had to remove my shirt and stand in my bra in front of the security lady, everyone who was already watching the spectacle and Ed who was sweating because our plane was boarding and also because he was traumatized by seeing me in my bra. Oh joy.

To add to my humiliation (as if) just as I was about to step back through the metal detector the security agent in her best "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure - There's No Basement In the Alamo, voice" loudly exclaimed, "OH, I know why you're beeping (pointing at my chest). It's your nipple rings!"

Why thank you. I appreciate you shouting that out to everyone. I also appreciate you waving that wand back and forth over my chest so everyone who missed it the first time can get a gander.

I did make my flight.

Ed didn't look at me the whole way home.

That was the last press check I ever went on.

Posted by bugg at August 9, 2005 08:34 AM

Comments

Posted by: melanie at August 9, 2005 12:20 PM