« what the? | Main | Runs on the Run »
July 21, 2005
home is where those houses are
This will be the last in the "Serious/Sad Topic" series for a bit, I promise. Inspired by a chat with Ms. Bees Knees and by Meloknee being homesick for Cali:
I believe that when you move around alot as a kid you get so heartbroken at leaving your house and your friends again that as you age you learn to not get too attached to any one place or group of people.
As a result, I have a hard time keeping friends. I love to meet new people and make connections but I don't always succeed at maintaining friendships. Part of me believes I am a sucky friend and part of me understands that everything happens for a reason.
Some people stick with you forever like family or certain close friends but some people will come into and out of your life only at specific times because you needed them (or vice versa) and you needed the lesson, the support, the love, the connection - that something that only that specific person could deliver to you at that moment in time. When the circumstances or the need changes then the relationship changes or ends.
Being the new kid in school also targets you for endless ridicule and teasing. It makes you tough or it breaks you. It made me tough (although I still have a soft, chewy center).
I think somehow my parents understood what a bitch it was to always be the new kid, so they wanted to provide us with a safe haven. And they did. Everytime we moved my parents built a new house - the same house (with updates and changes as the years passed), but yes, basically the same house.
No matter where we lived and no matter how crappy the outside world seemed, I could always go to my house, close the drapes and I was home.
Posted by bugg at July 21, 2005 03:36 PM
Comments
oh bugg, i'm the same way. i've had billions of "friends" come and go. i used to think i was just an awful person because i put *zero* effort into any of them. Eventually I realized that it was't that I was incapable of maintaining friendships, but rather that i truly loved my own private time. it took me a long time to understand that. i am a hermit at heart and i love it that way. only my closest [and most understanding!] friends know how i am and love me just the same!
ms bees knees
Posted by: ms bees knees at July 21, 2005 03:42 PM
I wonder if it's a gemini thing too? I am a hermit as well. And the older I get the more anti-social I am getting. I'm a crotchety old bitty!
Posted by: bugg at July 21, 2005 03:46 PM
Tis true. I went to 8 different schools from kindergarten through high school. I never got any of that whole girl bonding thing. Then the couple of girls that I did become close with completely screwed me over - like the one that started hooking up with my ex-husband. Yeah, she was a bitch. Now I see her sometimes on the bus and try to trip her when she walks by. I think I should have gone with my instincts and dropped that flower pot on her head off the balcony...
Posted by: melanie at July 21, 2005 03:49 PM
You know I am the Queen of holding a serious grudge and as your friend I will gladly hate that bitch that screwed your ex as well. If you would like me to cause her bodily harm I will be glad to it. It's been like 17 years since I caught my ex having sex with "Julie the water melon whore" - she looked like a watermelon, and I'd still like to kick her ass.
Posted by: bugg at July 21, 2005 03:52 PM
oh, and just in case it wasn't clear, he was not my ex at the time...oh! and she was married too. How does that saying go?? Who needs enemies with friends like these?
Posted by: melanie at July 21, 2005 03:59 PM
with friends like these who needs enemas!! hahaha
Posted by: bugg at July 21, 2005 07:42 PM